The loudest thing in the room used to be my insecurity.

I left Korea as an international student when I was 16, and came to Canada to go to university at 19 with just enough English to get by. It was a massive hurdle. Yet, I chose to pursue a long-term career in counseling and psychotherapy, a profession entirely built on words, nuance, and speaking. The irony was stark: for a very long time, I was terrified of my own voice.

In university, while training to be present for others, I was making myself as small as possible. I spoke quietly. I held back my thoughts, deeply embarrassed by my Korean accent and how I sounded. People making fun of how I sounded did not help.

I carried the heavy, constant belief that because I didn’t sound "perfect," I simply wasn't good enough.

My self-consciousness was a thick wall between me and the therapist I desperately wanted to become.

Then, a single encounter shifted my entire perspective.

I saw a Japanese lady giving a presentation. She completely captivated the room. She spoke with a heavy accent, yet she was incredibly eloquent, powerful, and profound. Watching her, it hit me like a ton of bricks: It is not about the accent. It is about confidence. It’s about how you choose to show up. My perceived "flaw" wasn't the problem. My refusal to accept myself was.

In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) there is a skill called Opposite Action. You look at what your unjustified emotion is urging you to do, and you deliberately do the exact opposite.

My urge was clear: to hide, to speak softly, to apologize for my presence, and to blend into the background.

The opposite action? To step into the light and speak loud and clear. To show up with confidence and trust that my voice was enough.

I had to radically accept my journey, my Korean roots and the way I sounded. I started practicing that opposite action every single day. I spoke up. I projected my voice. I stopped apologizing for how I sounded and started valuing what I had to say. And the most beautiful thing happened that exact vulnerability became my greatest strength as a therapist.

80% of my clients are English Speaking clients and I have a very successful career as a therapist and a clinical supervisor.

I am sharing this today for absolutely anyone who feels like they aren't "good enough." Maybe you are shy or embarrassed about a certain aspect of yourself, or perhaps somewhere along the way, someone told you to hide it.

I am here to tell you that you do not need to hide. Once you truly embrace and accept all parts of yourself, the shame loses its power. You can finally move forward.

When you decide to move forward, go all the way. Take the opposite action. Step into the light, speak loud and clear, and show up exactly as you are.